Painting With Jesse

As some of you may have read a group of us rallied up to North Hollywood last weekend to take a three day painting workshop with artist, Jesse Reno at Carol Parks' Studio. It has taken me sometime to process the lessons I learned this last weekend. In fact, I don’t think I have fully processed everything and am still meditating on certain elements, which came into light. For me, this workshop really shook me to the core and allowed me to embrace aspects of myself that I have kept hidden or simply was to afraid to accept in my artistic expression.

Jesse’s methods are completely different from those of us, who have been trained and educated in Western Art. In his world, you do not start off with the idea of what you would like to create; you do not sketch a focal image and build your canvas around it: you certainly do not force the execution of the painting.

Jesse’s approach is completely organic. The mediums he uses are inexpensive paints, a black pencil and plywood. He lays out a background of random paint with his fingers and then over populates with images and shapes he sees forming in the background. Adding more paint, he emphasizes a few images with detail and completely covering others. I think half the class gasped when he painted over some of the sketches he just completed. Both Ahna and Kelly have written excellent accounts on their sites about Jesse’s technique and demos with loads of pictures.

After the demo, I parked it at a table with my friends, Kristen and Ruth. I was using a large piece of plywood and began to use the colors, which provided in my bucket of lime green, orange, and magenta. After an hour of using these colors, my background was muddled and looked like cat vomit. I became enraged with the piece and was tempted to borrow Kelly’s car and run it over. I am not kidding I wanted to destroy the piece and if I had a lighter in my purse I would have torched it. Jesse came by about that time and I told him how much I hated this piece and that I was completely pist off with what I had painted. His advice was to paint over it. At this point,I could not even stand to touch this board any longer and I wanted to ditch the piece. He was cool with that suggestion as well. I threw the piece under the table with my background facing down. I piled my purse and other stuff on top of the wood, willing it into oblivion. Jesse suggested I start another piece on a piece of cardboard that was stacked in the material cart that Carol had provided and work with primary colors vs. the neon paints I was given.

Once I switched out the colors and began to work on the cardboard I felt my anger leave. In fact, I became quite a happy camper playing with the paint, building up layer by layer. I began to sketch some shapes and images I saw in the paint: a face here, a dog there. By that time the day had ended so we hopped into the back of Kelly’s car and headed back to the OC.

On the second day, Jesse began the class by returning to the piece he had started the day before. About five minutes in I had the urge to start sketching in a journal Kelly had just given me the day before. Spending most of my adult life in academia I would have never been so rude to disrespect a teacher by doodling during a lecture. However, I had a feeling it was ok. When I sketch I do not have anything in mind, I just do it. Later on when Jesse came by the table I was sharing with Deryn and Lorraine, I showed him my sketches. He asked me why I did not incorporate them into my paintings-that was a good question.

I started to think about how my personal aesthetic conflicts with my own creations. My drawings have never been strong. Actually, I should say my drawings are not in the style of realism. I had a very good friend years ago, who with a few strokes of a pencil would create a picture perfect drawing. I never could accomplish such a task, yet, this is the standard I have held myself too. I wanted to draw and create in the style of Waterhouse, Burne-Jones and the rest of the great masters. Instead, my drawings do not reflect one ounce of their characteristics.

I remember when I was in school I took the most wonderful poetry workshop with Dr. Martin Nakell at Chapman University. I wanted flowers and sunshine to roll off my pen vs. the raw, staccato voice and imagery that flowed out of my mouth and hand. It was in that class, I learned to listen and embrace my poetic voice and tone. I began to accept it was ok not to sound like Byron or Shelley and that my own unique perspective was valid.

I used to scoff at the inner child movement and those who would bellyache and whine that their inner artist was crushed. I now can empathize to a certain extent. I could go on some rambling tangent about how traditional art curriculum and aesthetic has oppressed my outward expression. Yes, true in part, but I have been my own worst oppressor through my unmerciful self criticism, invalidation and fear.

Art is an inward expression projected and materialized into the exterior world. Allowing me to be open to recognize and accept parts of my inner-scape come out has been quite terrifying. Art is freedom and until recently, I have wanted to control how I channel this energy onto canvas. My mixed media work has always allowed me to keep one foot planted firmly in what I wanted to manifest while dangling my toes in the unknown. Painting is something completely different, a Pandora’s Box, if you will: something good, but something horrible and unrecognizable may emerge.

Jesse was very cool and supportive of these issues and my concerns regarding letting my guard down. He encouraged me to push through the fear to create what was really inside of me. This is the stuff that begs to get out, but you shut it up by ignoring it. To eliminate frustration, Jesse emphasizes looking at the work in progress from different perspectives. He works on several paintings at once, allowing him to come back and look at a piece with fresh eyes. Like the wise sage, Kenny Rogers once said: You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run. Don’t force the process, but let it flow.

By the third day, the light went on over my head and my painting started to manifest in the way it was meant too. While Deryn and I were sitting on the floor, I flipped my painting to the side and realized I was looking at a pair of eyes ready to be drawn. I saw that other artists were experiencing something similar. I watched Deryn bust out a beautiful painting of a new mythological creature in less than an hour. I saw Kelly switching back and forth between three pieces. Everything began to click. I didn’t complete my painting, but I felt as if I was on the right road.

 

Cruising through blog-land, I have read several accounts of this weekend by other class participants and we all agree on one thing: Jesse. He is one of the most genuine people I have met in this lifetime and his generosity in sharing his life, art, and techniques is inspiring. I did not know what to expect to happen over those three days. I often forego classes and workshops because I have a tendency to be over saturated. In this class, I felt I could ponder the pithy of my soul and have a good time with my friends. There was no pressure to complete a painting or start a new one. There were no rules, but to exist and work at your own pace.

If you have a chance to take a class with Jesse, I encourage you to do so. For me, this class was the tipping point, which helped me identify, realize and deal with my art issues and fears. For others, it was permission to play and rejoice in the act of creating. Everyone’s lesson was different, but unique and special as their paintings. 

Photograph taken by Deryn Mentock, who along with Lorraine George, encouraged me to keep painting.

Comments

[Angie Platten]

Oh Pilar! I LOVE what you are doing with your piece! I love the colors and I see an emerging transformation happening on the canvas... a coincidence that it is also what is happening to you? I think not....

It's wonderful... keep going!

[deb trotter]

Jesse was right to encourage you to incorporate your imaginative drawings into your paintings. I can see you were inspired in the RIGHT way. What a fantastic thing - emerging! And isn't it good to be encouraged to throw away or destroy something that isn't - and probably never will - work for you? How liberating! You have truly experienced freedom and are finding your innner voice. Thank you for sharing Jesse with us. How I would have loved to have been there!

Deb

[Judy Wise]

You said, "Painting is something completely different, a Pandora’s Box, if you will: something good, but something horrible and unrecognizable may emerge."

This is the thing we all fear; meeting the parts of ourselves that are hidden and unknown. It takes so much courage to risk that meeting that few of us are completely open or honest in what we paint.

I love to hear about your search and the description of it was brilliant. Good thoughts for artists everywhere to consider.

We need to get it out. It is powerful and rich. Thanks for a great post.

[Laura Miller]

Your work is beautiful, as usual, and this post is full and real. I'm bookmarking this page so I can reread it often. I struggle to think that I can paint or create something meaningful on a canvas or whatever I paint on. Reading here has been very encouraging and motivating. Thanks for sharing from this deep part of yourself.

[Mary Beth Shaw]

First of all, I like this painting and love seeing your drawings. It feels raw to me, in a very good way.
It was so interesting to read about the emotions of the class and everything that it brought up for you. What an amazing experience and I am so glad you shared it.
xoxox

[Maija Lepore]

I love to read every word you write! Your Jesse inspired piece is fabulous! I love your colors- much different from Jesse's- you developed your own!

[Shari Beaubien]

I emailed you before I had a chance to get caught up on your blog... This was FANTASTIC to read, Pilar, and I am blown away by what you created. I ADORE your sketches and hope to see more of that raw, uncensored you appear in your future artworks. Woo hoo! Hugs, Shari

[Ariane]

Hi Pilar,
I read your post with great interest. What touched me most was the part about beeing your own worst oppressor - that's me too... ;)
I was unable to paint for over two years now and somehow your post encouraged me to just go do it - and be surprised by the result.
Thank you!

Ariane

[tara]

I love your entry on Jesse. A beautiful story for sure.
We only had 7 hours with him, in Portland, not nearly enough time. But we got amazing results and were all so pleased with the whole process.
I love what you did! I love how you got through it and your outcome. I am still processing for sure!

[Laura Bray]

What an enchanting and inspiring story Pilar. I can't wait to see your future work using your new-found knowledge.

[Tally Oliveau]

Not only did you share something wonderful and personal, but it was written so well. As your written voice has already done, your painted voice is becoming your own. We are all striving for that path; I thank you for sharing your side streets and new direction.

[sue pieper]

That was a wonderful post! I have to admit that I'd never heard of Jesse Reno until recently, and am completely in awe of his work. It is a totally different approach, but we take classes to be challenged, so if you look at that way there was no need to be discouraged. Besides, look how great you did! This sentence of yours "Yes, true in part, but I have been my own worst oppressor through my unmerciful self criticism, invalidation and fear." could be the mantra of many of us. We all feel like that at some time or other-I know for a fact that I'm my own worst enemy. Thanks for saying it out loud, making all of us think about it, having that bit of information will hellp us all acknowledge our fears & toss them away.

[carla]

That sounds like a truly amazing a life-changing workshop! It takes so much to just let go and see what happens - tap into something even beneath and beyond intuition. I am very inspired by the energy of the drawings & painting you shared. I would have loved something like this - fear in creating is something I encounter constantly - and the need to control is always gnawing at me. This makes me want to go into my studio and just PLAY! Thank you for sharing :)